|Me and my co-workers|
1. Refrain From Exposing Yourself
Veterinary staff do care about their client's well being, don't get me wrong. But showing off your bug bite marks in explicit areas is probably not something they really want to see. A verbal explanation of what the bites look like will suffice.
2. Don't Ask the Staff to Smell Your Finger
Smells can be an important part of diagnosing conditions in all types of animals. I used to be the official sniffer for the main vet I assisted, as she had lost her sense of smell. My heightened sense of smell during pregnancy made this an exciting task, to say the least. Technicians are usually pretty willing to use their sense of smell on animals in situations when necessary, and at other times have no choice. However, they probably do not want to smell your finger after you've just cleaned your dog's infected ear... they would much rather sniff the actual source.
3. Remember That You're at Your Pet's Doctor Office, Not Your Own
Again, the staff at your vet's office do care about their clients. They are there to help your pets, and are not people doctors. If you have a medical issue, you should talk to your doctor about advice. There are some disease that can be passed back and forth between human and animal, yes. It's highly unlikely however that you gave your dog a yeast infection. Just because your skin smells like parmesan cheese doesn't necessarily mean that you have a yeast infection on it...
4. Don't Hit on the Technician
Just because the technician asks for your phone number so that the doctor can call you back with test results does not mean that you should hit on them. They are just doing their job.
5. Hold Your Dog Still For a Temperature
Taking a temperature on a cat or dog can prove to be quite a difficult task sometimes. It usually requires a little bit of teamwork. If you see the technician chasing your dog's butt around with a thermometer across the exam room floor, offer a little help! Usually this just requires that you hold your dog's head still for a few seconds.
6. Please Tell the Staff If Your Pet Bites
A trained technician can read most animal's body language pretty well. A pet's mom or dad can read their own pet's body language even better. Technicians also understand that pets act differently at the vet's office. If you think or know that your pet is going to try to bite or scratch, speak up!
7. Keep Dirty Comments to Yourself
When the technician, that you just met, takes your dog's temperature and then collects a fecal sample manually, don't exclaim to your dog that they have a fetish. I'll leave it at that.
8. Don't Pulverize the Staff With Poop
Checking a fecal sample every once in a while is important to your pet's health. However, the staff at the vet clinic do not need the entire pile of runny stool that your 80 pound dog produced this morning presented in a plastic grocery bag on the receptionist's counter. 1-3 grams of stool is typically enough for a stool sample.
9. If the Vet Prescibes Medicine, Give It
Some clients return repeatedly because their pet isn't recovering from a problem. Sometimes, the client admits that they haven't given their pet any of the medicine. Comply with your vet's instructions! It may save you from having to visit the animal clinic so much. It will probably also save you a little bit of money...
10. Guys, Help a Girl Out
Most veterinary staff employees happen to be women. If you see the technician struggling to lift your dog that weighs as much as they do, maybe you could stand up from your comfy seat and lend a hand. Not saying that women aren't strong - of course we are! But guys, it doesn't look so good on your part when you just sit there and watch.